3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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