More tranny stories later!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
