her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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