Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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