you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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