Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
