1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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