like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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