You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
