He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
