just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm both gender and math confused
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
