$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
