I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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