Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
