kristin has been a bad kristin
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
