I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
