Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
