Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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