Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
