you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
