Umm I'm too high to move.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
