Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
