Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
