Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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