She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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