So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
