So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
