what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
