You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
