I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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