He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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