Will you blow on my dice?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
