didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
