Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
