I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
