East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
