Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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