my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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