Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
