i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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