Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
