Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
