so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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