hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
