When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
