so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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