You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
