You're so nebulous sometimes
I want to make a zoo with you.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
