I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just google imaged poop.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
