yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
