thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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