There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
