fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
home. puking in laundry basket.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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