I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
