dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
